{"id":117,"date":"2002-01-13T13:19:03","date_gmt":"2002-01-13T11:19:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.lesba.sk\/atribut\/?p=117"},"modified":"2015-06-13T13:19:42","modified_gmt":"2015-06-13T11:19:42","slug":"timo-bastriguli-forum-analyticum-tb","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lesba.sk\/atribut\/2002\/01\/13\/timo-bastriguli-forum-analyticum-tb\/","title":{"rendered":"Timo Bastriguli: Forum analyticum TB"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>V\u0161etko nov\u00e9 v\u00a0dobrom roku, mil\u00ed priatelia! Ako sa na janu\u00e1r patr\u00ed, bude sa inovova\u0165. Inu \u2013 namiesto Asert\u00edvno \u2013 Rekondi\u010dnej Poradne v\u00e1m aservilne naserv\u00edrujem Aproxima\u010dno- Retransmis\u00edvny Pitvor Tima Bastriguliho, alebo presnej\u0161ie: F\u00f3rum Analyticum (rozbor vtipu).<\/p>\n<p>Podstatou tejto svie\u017eej, nezatuchnutej a nevyvetranej rubriky bude anekdotick\u00e1 pitva. Spravidla si vyhliadnem jeden typick\u00fd homof\u00f3bny vtip, typologicky ho omrknem, pre\u0161acujem, jemne na\u0165uknem, vytrhnem z\u00a0kontextu a n\u00e1sledne polo\u017e\u00edm na pomyseln\u00fd pitevn\u00fd st\u00f4l. Potom ho u\u017e sta\u010d\u00ed iba nav\u0155ta\u0165, zasun\u00fa\u0165 patologick\u00fa sondu, otvori\u0165, vykosti\u0165, odblani\u0165, odsa\u0165 sedimenty. Zvy\u0161n\u00e9 pozostatky nie je probl\u00e9m flexibilne rozparcelova\u0165 na novinov\u00fd papier a vy\u017em\u00fdka\u0165 do poslednej kvapky tla\u010diarenskej \u017el\u010de.<\/p>\n<p>Ale dnes, na za\u010diatok, e\u0161te urob\u00edm v\u00fdnimku. Zatia\u013e sa nebude ni\u010d rozobera\u0165, sec\u00edrova\u0165 (=pitva\u0165), cizelova\u0165, vyhmat\u00e1va\u0165, prejudikova\u0165, ba ani komentova\u0165. P\u00f4jde len o\u00a0prost\u00fd neutr\u00e1lno- neteatr\u00e1lny, polopatisticko- apatick\u00fd monitoring. Tak\u017ee s\u013e\u00faben\u00fd vtip:<\/p>\n<p class=\"BodyText2\">U\u010dite\u013eka z\u00e1kladnej \u0161koly m\u00e1 na hodine matematiky in\u0161pekciu. Vzh\u013eadom na to, \u017ee rada systematicky rozv\u00edja \u010d\u00edseln\u00fa obrazotvornos\u0165 svojich \u017eiakov, pok\u00fasi sa blysn\u00fa\u0165 pred in\u0161pektorom zadan\u00edm interakt\u00edvneho pr\u00edkladu:<\/p>\n<p>\u201eDeti, ste na trhovisku pred st\u00e1nkom s\u00a0mel\u00f3nmi (v tomto pr\u00edpade sa nejedn\u00e1 o\u00a0dvojzmyseln\u00fa nar\u00e1\u017eku na zmyseln\u00fd sami\u010d\u00ed p\u00e1rov\u00fd org\u00e1n lakta\u010dno- zavla\u017eovacieho charakteru \u2013pozn. T.B.) a predava\u010dka v\u00e1m povie, \u017ee si m\u00f4\u017eete odnies\u0165 zadarmo to\u013eko mel\u00f3nov, ko\u013eko bez ta\u0161ky unesiete. Kto odnesie najviac mel\u00f3nov, ten vyhr\u00e1va. Na ak\u00fd po\u010det si tr\u00fafate?\u201c<\/p>\n<p><em>Prv\u00e1 sa hl\u00e1si Ani\u010dka: \u201eNa dva, jeden si vezmem pod jednu pazuchu a druh\u00fd pod druh\u00fa.\u201c<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Veronika zvy\u0161uje latku: \u201eNa tri. Dva nalo\u017e\u00edm pod pazuchy a tret\u00ed chmatnem do dlan\u00ed.\u201c<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>U\u010dite\u013eka je spokojn\u00e1, ale e\u0161te sa hl\u00e1si Filipko: \u201eJa si tr\u00fafam na \u0161tyri, prv\u00e9 tri uchop\u00edm rovnako, ako Veronika a ten \u0161tvrt\u00fd stisnem pevne medzi kolen\u00e1.\u201c <\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>\u201eV\u00fdborne!\u201c chv\u00e1li u\u010dite\u013eka deti, u\u017e by aj rada s\u00fa\u0165a\u017e ukon\u010dila, iba\u017ee ruky zdvihli aj Ferko a M\u00f3ricko. U\u010dite\u013eka nem\u00e1 s\u00a0M\u00f3rickovymi odpove\u010fami dobr\u00e9 sk\u00fasenosti, preto v\u00a0z\u00e1ujme zachovania svojej dobrej povesti, ako aj v\u00a0z\u00e1ujme integrity vyu\u010dovacieho procesu prezieravo uprednostn\u00ed Ferka: <\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>\u201eJa odnesiem p\u00e4\u0165 mel\u00f3nov. Mel\u00f3n \u010d.1-4 uchop\u00edm rovnak\u00fdm sp\u00f4sobom ako Filip a piaty mel\u00f3n si nastoknem na <\/em><em>&gt;<\/em><em>kokpit<\/em><em>&lt;<\/em><em> (n\u00e1hradn\u00fd n\u00e1zov pre sam\u010d\u00ed nep\u00e1rov\u00fd org\u00e1n ur\u010den\u00fd na p\u00e1renie \u2013pozn. T.B.)\u201c <\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>U\u010dite\u013eke stek\u00e1 studen\u00fd pot dolu tv\u00e1rou, nevie, ako vykor\u010du\u013eova\u0165 z\u00a0prek\u00e9rnej situ\u00e1cie, ke\u010f tu zbad\u00e1 n\u00e1stoj\u010divo zdvihnut\u00fa ruku kontroverzn\u00e9ho M\u00f3ricka. V\u00a0n\u00e1deji, \u017ee po Ferkovej v\u00fdpovedi sa u\u017e ni\u010d hor\u0161ie sta\u0165 nem\u00f4\u017ee, d\u00e1va slovo M\u00f3rickovi, ktor\u00fd triumfuje vyhl\u00e1sen\u00edm: <\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>\u201ePri dobrej kond\u00edcii si tr\u00fafam na dev\u00e4\u0165 mel\u00f3nov. Prv\u00e9 dva vezmem pod pazuchy ako Ani\u010dka, tret\u00ed do r\u00fak ako Veronika, \u0161tvrt\u00fd zakliesnim medzi kolen\u00e1 ako Filip&#8230;.. a na <\/em><em>&gt;<\/em><em>kokpit<\/em><em>&lt;<\/em><em> si nastoknem Ferka.\u201c <\/em><\/p>\n<p>S\u00a0pozdravom \u201eV Jednote je sila, v\u00a0Terne iba kil\u00e1\u201c<\/p>\n<p>Timo Bastriguli<\/p>\n<p>Ohlasy, proglasy, lak na vlasy i \u017emurk belas\u00fd posielajte na adresu: bastriguli@hotmail.com<\/p>\n<p><em>\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p>fle\u0161ovka:<\/p>\n<p>Zverokruhy pod o\u010dami<\/p>\n<p>(-TB-) Na margo vyjadren\u00ed poslankyne za HZDS O\u013egy Kelto\u0161ovej v\u00a0novembrovom vydan\u00ed telev\u00edznej rel\u00e1cie \u201eO p\u00e4\u0165 min\u00fat dvan\u00e1s\u0165\u201c sa v\u00a0lesoparku rozpr\u00fadila \u017eiv\u00e1 diskusia. Pani Kelto\u0161ov\u00e1 toti\u017e ozna\u010dila I\u0161tv\u00e1nov n\u00e1vrh Z\u00e1kona o\u00a0\u017eivotnom partnerstve homosexu\u00e1lov za \u201emedvediu slu\u017ebu tejto komunite.\u201c Na\u0161tvan\u00fd I\u0161tv\u00e1n protestoval, \u017ee ne\u0161lo o\u00a0medvediu slu\u017ebu, ale o\u00a0psiu povinnos\u0165. Zatia\u013e, \u010do spoludiskut\u00e9r Daniel Lip\u0161ic s\u00a0l\u00ed\u0161\u010dou pref\u00edkanos\u0165ou nastavoval verejnosti srn\u010d\u00ed chrb\u00e1t rodinn\u00e9ho ochrancu, pani O\u013ega predlo\u017eila ma\u0161krtn\u00fdm div\u00e1kom soci\u00e1lne chrumky v\u00a0podobe sladk\u00fdch ma\u010dac\u00edch jaz\u00fd\u010dkov. Sotva stihol Danielovi vyschn\u00fa\u0165 na per\u00e1ch jelen\u00ed loj, potvrdil zaja\u010die \u00famysly svojej politickej strany vo vz\u0165ahu ku skazenej gr\u00e1cii &#8211; eur\u00f3pskej integr\u00e1cii, ako aj vo vz\u0165ahu ku krkav\u010dej matke synov ve\u013ekej medvedice, ktorej hro\u0161ia ko\u017ea by zdolala aj slona. Zo v\u0161etk\u00fdch t\u00fdch volov\u00edn by aj gymnastickej koze presko\u010dilo, alebo by z\u00a0to\u013ekej zvl\u010dilosti dostala ov\u010die kiahne. Homosexu\u00e1lna komunita si v\u0161ak napriek slima\u010diemu tempu vie pova\u017eova\u0165 konsk\u00fa silu a v\u010deliu vytrvalos\u0165 svojho legislat\u00edvneho t\u00e1to\u0161\u00edka. Za siedmimi horami a siedmimi dioptriami, za tonami \u0165av\u00edch p\u013euvancov a \u017eabieho slizu sa toti\u017e \u010drt\u00e1 vyt\u00fa\u017een\u00e1 pr\u00e1vna norma a p\u00e1n I\u0161tv\u00e1n m\u00e1 na nej svoj lev\u00ed podiel.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>V\u0161etko nov\u00e9 v\u00a0dobrom roku, mil\u00ed priatelia! Ako sa na janu\u00e1r patr\u00ed, bude sa inovova\u0165. Inu \u2013 namiesto Asert\u00edvno \u2013 Rekondi\u010dnej Poradne v\u00e1m aservilne naserv\u00edrujem Aproxima\u010dno- Retransmis\u00edvny Pitvor Tima Bastriguliho, alebo presnej\u0161ie: F\u00f3rum Analyticum (rozbor vtipu). Podstatou tejto svie\u017eej, nezatuchnutej a nevyvetranej rubriky bude anekdotick\u00e1 pitva. Spravidla si vyhliadnem jeden typick\u00fd homof\u00f3bny vtip, typologicky ho omrknem, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":12,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":[],"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-117","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-cislo1"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Timo Bastriguli: Forum analyticum TB - Atrib\u00fat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.lesba.sk\/atribut\/2002\/01\/13\/timo-bastriguli-forum-analyticum-tb\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"sk_SK\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Timo Bastriguli: Forum analyticum TB - Atrib\u00fat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"V\u0161etko nov\u00e9 v\u00a0dobrom roku, mil\u00ed priatelia! Ako sa na janu\u00e1r patr\u00ed, bude sa inovova\u0165. Inu \u2013 namiesto Asert\u00edvno \u2013 Rekondi\u010dnej Poradne v\u00e1m aservilne naserv\u00edrujem Aproxima\u010dno- Retransmis\u00edvny Pitvor Tima Bastriguliho, alebo presnej\u0161ie: F\u00f3rum Analyticum (rozbor vtipu). Podstatou tejto svie\u017eej, nezatuchnutej a nevyvetranej rubriky bude anekdotick\u00e1 pitva. Spravidla si vyhliadnem jeden typick\u00fd homof\u00f3bny vtip, typologicky ho omrknem, [&hellip;]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.lesba.sk\/atribut\/2002\/01\/13\/timo-bastriguli-forum-analyticum-tb\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Atrib\u00fat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2002-01-13T11:19:03+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2015-06-13T11:19:42+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.lesba.sk\/atribut\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2015\/06\/atribut1.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"250\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"355\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Museion\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@lesbask\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Autor\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Museion\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Predpokladan\u00fd \u010das \u010d\u00edtania\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 min\u00faty\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.lesba.sk\\\/atribut\\\/2002\\\/01\\\/13\\\/timo-bastriguli-forum-analyticum-tb\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.lesba.sk\\\/atribut\\\/2002\\\/01\\\/13\\\/timo-bastriguli-forum-analyticum-tb\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Museion\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.lesba.sk\\\/atribut\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/cb5ff95623da64d77b7c58919b2c7dad\"},\"headline\":\"Timo Bastriguli: Forum analyticum TB\",\"datePublished\":\"2002-01-13T11:19:03+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2015-06-13T11:19:42+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.lesba.sk\\\/atribut\\\/2002\\\/01\\\/13\\\/timo-bastriguli-forum-analyticum-tb\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":825,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.lesba.sk\\\/atribut\\\/2002\\\/01\\\/13\\\/timo-bastriguli-forum-analyticum-tb\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.lesba.sk\\\/atribut\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/sites\\\/3\\\/2015\\\/06\\\/atribut1.jpg\",\"articleSection\":[\"\u010c\u00edslo 01.\"],\"inLanguage\":\"sk-SK\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.lesba.sk\\\/atribut\\\/2002\\\/01\\\/13\\\/timo-bastriguli-forum-analyticum-tb\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.lesba.sk\\\/atribut\\\/2002\\\/01\\\/13\\\/timo-bastriguli-forum-analyticum-tb\\\/\",\"name\":\"Timo Bastriguli: Forum analyticum TB - 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Ako sa na janu\u00e1r patr\u00ed, bude sa inovova\u0165. Inu \u2013 namiesto Asert\u00edvno \u2013 Rekondi\u010dnej Poradne v\u00e1m aservilne naserv\u00edrujem Aproxima\u010dno- Retransmis\u00edvny Pitvor Tima Bastriguliho, alebo presnej\u0161ie: F\u00f3rum Analyticum (rozbor vtipu). Podstatou tejto svie\u017eej, nezatuchnutej a nevyvetranej rubriky bude anekdotick\u00e1 pitva. 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